Accept What Is- by Vicky Westra

autism neurodiversity neuroshifts wellbeing Jan 13, 2021

Wherever we are on our journey, we will have to get to a place of acceptance of what is before we can move in the direction of creating is the life that we want.

I spent many years in denial, wishing my situation wasn’t what it was. “Having a diagnosis of Autism for my daughter wasn’t in my plan, hence it shouldn’t be happening”, I lamented. However, the reality of it is that until we accept the situation or circumstance that we’ve been dealt (or that currently is), we won’t be able to see how this situation can actually serve us or create the contrast (what we don’t want) that helps us to more clearly identify what it is that we do want to create.

Everyone faces challenges, yet somehow when these challenges are happening to us, we feel like a victim. Statements like “why me?” or “this shouldn't be happening to me”, give us clues that we are not in a place of acceptance. This keeps us in the “Red Zone,” or feeling very disempowered. However, once we become aware of this, then we can start really examining these thoughts. Even introducing a new spin on these thoughts like “why not me?” or just acknowledging that “yes, this is happening to me” or “it is what it is”, can help us to move closer to accepting our situation.

Once we practice these statements and emotions for a little while and start getting comfortable that things are as they should be, we can keep moving towards even more positive statements and feelings about our situation. What if we started to see that what we originally thought to be a negative situation is actually here to serve us or help us to grow and expand in positive ways? Even opening ourselves up to the possibility of this can provide us with access to more clarity about what our desired future looks like, or can show us what our next steps might be to move towards creating a positive shift in our life experience.

I remember being in the early stages of accepting our daughter
Gabbi’s diagnosis and for loving her exactly as she was. I had so much resistance to “what was” that when I let go of the belief that things shouldn’t be as they are, I felt so much relief! When we surrender our resistance, our “cork can float” again (our spirits rise) and it’s a very freeing feeling. Releasing this resistance is what allows us the freedom and openness to see other possibilities. It starts moving us into the “Green Zone,” where we have the hope of creating something positive out of what we previously perceived as a negative.

That’s what happened to me and what can also happen for you. Whether you are a parent who is not yet in a place of acceptance of the diagnosis, or whether you are a person on the Autism Spectrum who hasn’t accepted the diagnosis/ feels a lot of resistance about it; you can shift this mindset by following this simple process.

Awareness – nothing happens without awareness of what is happening. Sometimes we just unconsciously push against our situation. We’ve done it for so long that we don’t even realize that we are doing it. However, once you are aware of what you are doing, you now have a choice to change your mindset.

Practice General Statements – General statements like “it is what it is” or “I am where I am” start moving you in the right direction. Whenever your previously practiced thoughts about how this shouldn’t be happening come up, be aware and alert so that you can start replacing those thoughts with these general acceptance statements.

Practice Positive Statements – Once you’ve practiced general statements for a little while and they feel true to you, now you can start introducing some more specific positive statements. Statements like “my situation is serving my best and highest good”, or “my/my child’s diagnosis is here to help me grow and expand in positive ways”, or even “my situation and the resistance I’ve felt are bringing me more clarity about what I want”. Find the positive statements that are a fit for you and that you are inspired to use. Write them down and start practicing them! When you do, you will start opening yourself up to more clarity about what it is that you want, or what changes you need to make.

Start moving in the direction of your inspirations – now as you get inspired ideas or thoughts, take action. How can you move in the direction of what you want to create? If we just daydream, nothing will typically change; but if we start moving in the direction of the life we want to create for ourselves (happiness, joy and fun, are all a good start), we can create the momentum to shift everything!

Acknowledge and Appreciate the Shifts – As you get to this stage, bring awareness to every positive thing that has begun happening for you and express appreciation for it! When we appreciate the good things in our lives, we bring more good things to us. Appreciation is a powerful tool that we often forget about. Appreciation allows us to celebrate where we now are and where we are heading!

Are you ready to start implementing this process in your life?? I know that it takes courage to move in this direction, but I also know that you are ready for it! You are now a Shifter so start shifting ☺!!

With Joy and Love,