You Can Choose to be Happy Now!

Mar 11, 2024

It's easy to get into the habit of thinking that some future moment will be better, or provide us with more happiness. We can think thoughts such as, “I will be happy when…”:

I have that new job
I’m in that new home of my dreams
I have the relationship that I want
I have the car that I want

If you are a parent, this mindset can also apply to where your child is developmentally or emotionally and thinking that some future moment will be better. We can think thoughts such as, “I will be happy when…”:
My child is in the next phase of school (middle school, high school, or graduated)
My child has a job
My child is more independent
My child has more friends
My child is in a better emotional place

However, these thoughts put conditions on our happiness, rather than enjoying our situation, our child or our life in the present moment. No matter where we stand, there will always be something else we want, or circumstances we are waiting/searching for. In addition, we will always experience challenges because that's just part of life. We all encounter things along the path that we have to deal with.

My husband and I have also lived in that state of thinking about the next phase for ourselves (and our daughter), and that it will be better than where we currently are; but in reality, we know it's just the next place of being and that it will bring with it both new joys, as well as new challenges. Even when we reach that new place or goal, we are soon on to something else, so we know we can’t live our lives waiting for external things or circumstances to fulfill us.

Based on that, we have started embracing the present moment by getting comfortable in it. That doesn't mean we don't have intentions for the future, but we know that we can experience happiness right now, even if the circumstances may not be ideal or exactly what we want them to be.

The reality is that happiness and enjoyment of life are an inside job. If we find our way to our inner joy, we can live more unconditionally. Some of the techniques I recommend for this are:
Using the mantra "I am where I am." It's just a reminder that you are right where you should be.
Embracing the challenges you are currently experiencing by realizing they are not here to harm you, but to help you grow in some way. Ask yourself, “how is this situation here to serve me?”
Allowing yourself to experience the full range of emotions in any given situation and making everything you feel okay. So, when you feel negative emotions such as frustration, anger, or fear, try to become aware of them and be alright with experiencing them, but try not to linger or give them all your attention. This practice will allow you to release the negative emotions rather than trying to push them down (which means they are still in there).
Reminding yourself of all the positive things in your life right now. Even when facing challenges, there are always positive things that are happening as well.
Appreciating all the people and things in your life that bring you joy.

Decide today not to put off your happiness until some future point in time. Instead, set an intention to choose happiness today!

With Love and Appreciation,